My Little Valentine

My very talented mom made the sweetest Valentine's Day dress for Emerson. And so, in honor of this day of love, a few pictures of my Tiny Valentine ...

Emerson has adopted this pink bouncy ball as her most favorite toy for the moment.

Those lashes. They slay me.

Happy Valentine's Day, family and friends. I hope your day is sweet!

Thirty-Two

I turn 32 tomorrow. For the first time in many years I can feel the difference between where I am at 32 and where I was at 31, 28, 25, etc. I feel older. Not just in how many years I've been on this earth, but in how I see the world, what I find important, how I choose to spend my time, where I choose to focus my energy. This is not to say that I have it all figured out. I don't think we ever stop learning, changing, growing. But I do feel like I'm on the right path.

In this 32nd year, I will remember my word- faith. I will seek it, cultivate it, own it and enjoy it. Too often, I live in a place of fear. I shrink in it's presence and cower at it's hold on my heart. It's there when Jared is out on patrol. It's there when I look on at my sweet baby. I think about how much I love them and what life would be like if they weren't here. The fear is real and I want it gone. I will remember to have faith. Faith that my God will keep me and protect me and offer up His grace to me.

In this 32nd year, I will turn away from failure. I'm big on lists. I make them all the time. Grocery lists, lists of chores, errands to run. I even make lists for what to do in my free time, like "go for a run", "go on a bike ride", "decorate the mantle", "create something". I feel a sense of accomplishment when I check everything off of the list and utter failure if even one thing remains unchecked. I struggle with being enough. Doing enough. This year, I will replace failure with inspiration. Living my day to day doing what I am inspired to do, following the voice inside that says, This is what you want to do right now. Take a little time. It'll make you happy, so do it. Again, I will remember to have faith. Faith in myself and in the choices I make.

In recognition of my 32nd birthday, I am reflecting on 32 things that I am thankful for right now. I love the idea and plan on doing it for all of my future birthdays. Yes, it's sort of a list...but not the kind that needs any checking.

1. Starry nights. The Keys have the most beautiful night skies. I love sitting with Jared out on our boat, under a sky full of stars.

2. Dinners of fresh caught fish, lobster and crab. Out of the ocean and onto our plates.

3. Toys scattered on the floor.

4. Bath time.

5. Wind. It's often windy here in the winter and I love it.

6. Planning out how we'll decorate our next home.

7. Listening to Jared talk about the play house he's going to build for Emerson.

8. Talking on the phone to my best friend, Angela.

9. This sauce that my hubby made with tomatoes from our balcony garden.

10. Bike rides to my favorite park.

11. Morning visits with Abby and Alise.

12. Our home. It's bright and open and looks out to oleander and palm trees.

13. Sunset cruises with my little family.

14. Jared- my husband and the love of my life. He is the one my heart needed and I am so thankful we found each other.

15. Ball Jars filled with flowers.

16. The thought of living near Danielle again. First it was California, then Virginia and soon, it will be Cali again.

17. My mom and dad.

18. Emerson. Oh, Emerson. Her eyes. That mohawk. And her contagious enthusiasm. She is determined and unwavering in her quest to explore her world. My joy.

19. Morning coffee.

20. Seeing the world through the eyes of my daughter.

21. Being a mom.

22. Receiving emails from my Aunt Faith.

23. Jared's family. I love them.

24. Continuing to grow and to learn how to be comfortable with who I am.

25. When Jared says, "I love you so much." It still makes my heart skip a beat.

26. The way my sister calls me "mama sis".

27. The way Jared loves the slow paced simplicity of island life.

28. The relationship I have with my mom.

29. My brother. He's so talented. I'm so proud of him.

30. Possibility.

31. Reflection

32. Knowing that I am right where I'm supposed to be.

A Play Date

Since Emerson was about 3 months old, she and I have getting together with my friend Abby and her sweet daughter, Alise nearly every day for walks, yoga, or just to chat. It has been so nice. Now that our girls are a bit older, we've joined some other mama friends for a play date every Friday morning. Abby's hubby refers to them as "Mommy play dates". But they're not. There for the children... we swear...

Here are a few pictures of last week's get together. How cute are these littles!

It's fascinating for me to watch how Emerson interacts with other little ones. She's too young to understand how to play with others really, but she approached her new environment with such enthusiasm and curiosity even if a little cautious. I love watching the world unfold for before her eyes. Play dates (mommy or other) are a good thing in my book! 

Papu

Dear Emerson,

It's been four years, some time before you came along, Sweet Bird, and really I don't know what to say. My heart aches as I write you this letter. You won't know him the way we did, your Papu.   He was wonderful, and he would have loved you so much. He loved his family. Your Moncu, your Auntie Jess and your Daddy. He loved them all so very much. And me, I was lucky enough to feel a bit of that love, even if for just a few years of my life. My heart breaks to admit that you won't know him like we did, Sweet Girl, but of this I am sure: His legacy will live on. In your Moncus stories, in your Auntie Jess' enthusiasm, and in the way your Daddy loves you and me. Just as the sun rises in the morning, shedding it's light on the earth, your Papu's memory will bring light to our hearts and our souls and that light will be carried on in you. 

I love you so very much,

Mama

Our Balcony Garden

One of my favorite things about our place in Virginia was our balcony. It spanned the entire width of our apartment and looked over a small, tree lined side street. I had lots of potted plants out there and although we lived in the city, my little balcony garden made me feel miles away from the hustle and bustle of busy city life. Petunias, geraniums, impatiens, oregano, basil and thyme. My little garden was my refuge after a long day at work. I felt inspired and happy while I watered and tended to my flowers and herbs.

My little garden above Hartford Street

When Jared and I moved to the keys, I knew that the tropical climate wouldn't allow for many of my favorite flowers to grow. Especially in the dead heat of summer. But the temperatures in the fall and winter months are perfect for growing. We decided to grow veggies and herbs instead of flowers. Living down here, we are lucky to "live off the land" quite a bit. Jared has brought home plenty of fish, crab and lobster to cook up for dinner. And with our own little balcony garden, we can also enjoy some fresh veggies too.

We've been growing ToMatOEs & PePpErs...

We also planted carrots . They're growing well and should be ready to pick later this month...but I forgot to take pictures of them. Another time!

BaSiL, OrEgAno and tHyMe...

And because I must have flowers, some sun-loving ZiNniAs...

As it turns out, Jared and I have green thumbs. Maybe not bright green, but we did pretty well with our little vegetable garden for first-timers;)