Do What Makes You Happy

Every Friday morning for the past few months, I leave the house while our (wonderful) babysitter comes over and hangs out with Emerson.  A step Jared and I took to help out with the life balance thing that can sometimes be hard to attain with little ones. I look very much forward to my "Friday's off" but have to admit that finding things to occupy my time for four hours was not as easy as I thought it would be. I tried Dahn Yoga...definitely not for me. Coffee and computer time at Starbucks was okay for a little while. Shopping got old fast. And with the few friends we have here working, lunch dates were not an option. Luckily, Heather and I were able to meet up a couple of times and she showed me some beautiful trails around the South Bay. Last week we went hiking near her home and I knew that I would be returning here in the weeks to come. 

You see, I've been thinking about what makes me feel fulfilled. Where I find contentment and honestly it isn't in a Target or a Mall. It isn't sitting behind my computer, scrolling through pins or reading about other people's lives on their blogs. And while I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with these things, I absolutely enjoy them all in moderation, I found that I was consistently turning to these exact activities to occupy my time and thoughts. It wasn't good for me. 

As long as I can remember, I have felt happy in the outdoors. On quiet beaches and woodsy trails is where I feel the most centered. The most at peace. Even in my college days, when life was crazy and moderation wasn't a word in my vocabulary, I would escape to these places from time to time. So yesterday, I ditched the coffee shops and stores and headed back to the trails I hiked along last week with Heather. Where horses far outnumber people. Camera in hand, I walked and walked and walked. Smiling. Finding happiness in the way the trees draped over  the path. Enjoyment in watching the dust dancing in the sun's rays. Fulfillment in the natural beauty of this place. It was exactly where I needed to be and exactly what I needed to do. 

Sometimes with all the stores and technology and access to so much stuff, there seems to be too much static in life. And although I'm thankful for this ease of access, escaping it is sometimes necessary.

Someday, someday in a cloud of gray
I will,
I'll make my great escape.
~Brett Dennon

Bits from Christmas

I woke this morning at 5:30, eager after 2 days of being sick to finally have the energy to upload my Christmas pictures to my brand new computer. Our house is quiet. Coffee in hand, I look as over 800 pictures load onto iPhoto. I watch, smiling. Remembering.

Our Christmas Eve began in the air. Flying the long flight from California to New York. Greeted by Jared's mom, we began our wintery vacation at a Christmas Eve party with family friends. A long standing tradition and my third time joining in. The best home cooked Italian food in all of New York, wine, merriment and a grandmother who loved showing her grand baby off to old friends for the first time. 

Christmas Morning- 
Presents under the tree, jammies, coffee, the act of giving, two littles who don't quite get it yet but still make it so much fun, and lots of smiles and hugs.

The escape artist...

It has been confirmed by every family member in NY: Emerson is a mini version of her Auntie Jess. 

Annual Christmas Party-

It's been years since Jared's mom has been able to host a Christmas Party. The wait was worth it. Family filled the house. Food, drinks, stories being told, new memories being made. And LCR! The first for Emerson and Logan, the last to be held in this house.

 A little young to hit the bar, I think...

 Twirling...

 Cousins...

iPhone in hand and that look on her face, I see them as teenagers in this picture. 

The rest of the week was both calm and chaotic. The presence of family always there. Jared spent most of his time in the basement of his mom's home. Sorting through, breaking down and getting rid of so much stuff in preparation for a move that will be very bittersweet. Reliving memories, I'm sure of the time he shared there with his mom, dad and sister. 

We had a night out in Manhattan, where we ate amazing food, walked the city streets and toasted to Jared's dad behind the walls of a speak easy. All the while, Moncu entertained, fed, bathed and tucked in two tired toddlers. 

Pictures in front of a home that holds so much love...

A walk to the park...

And pictures of my sweet nephew who turned one earlier in December. He's such a happy boy...

New Years Eve was spent flying home. Six hours in the air. Three of which were pretty rough. Two that were just okay, and one that was quite relaxing (that's the one where Emerson slept). The New Year welcomed us with achy bellies, runny noses and the rundown feeling that often follows spending six hours on a plane. But it's all good, because that's life. We take the good with the bad, the great with the not so great and even if it's difficult to see at the time, we try to remind ourselves that a full and beautiful life has to include both the bitter and the sweet. I'm not sure what 2014 has in store for us, but what I do know is that it holds all the potential for being both full and beautiful. And that I've been given another chance to take both the good moments and the bad and make them into something lovely.

For the last few years, I've chosen a word to focus in on. One that would guide me and remind me of what was important for that year and the ones to come. It's been pretty difficult to settle on one word this year. There's a lot I have to work on. A lot I need to learn. We're always learning. Working to become a better version of ourselves, aren't we?  Heather and I went on an early morning hike on Friday. On dusty horse trails. The sun shining its light over brush-covered hills, making its way through the dust and casting such a beautiful glow that I had to smile. After a very tough couple of weeks, Danielle told me today that she started dance class and is now, because of that simple act of doing something she truly loves, so much more content and fulfilled. Jared and I had a conversation earlier today about being happy and making the most of it (one that involved maybe getting a camper...). These three things all line up to offer such insight into what I need to do. What I need to focus in on.

I think I've decided...

My word for 2014 is reach.

This year I will reach, bend, stretch. Into the deepest corners of my mind and the most tender places of my heart to find and do what makes me smile, do what it is that offers contentment, fulfillment, and to always strive to make the most  out of this life so that it is one that in the good moments and bad, is full and bursting with beauty.

REACH

In 2014, I hope you all do whatever it is that makes you smile. That fulfills you. May it be a year filled with hope, love and laughter.
Happy New Year