Five Years

Five years ago, I married the love of my life. 

In his eyes, I find strength.

In his arms-comfort. 

His love is my anchor. 

There are many love stories out there. But ours is my very favorite.

(Especially now that we have this sweet face to wake up to each morning!)

Goodnight Friday

Well, today wasn't quite what we expected. Little Bird ended up having a bit of a tough day. She seems to be having some reflux troubles. Luckily though, there were many periods where she felt relief, so Jared and I took these moments to get out and go. 

Our trip to the lumber yard turned out to be unsuccessful. They didn't have what Jared needed, so we headed back down the Keys and stopped in at the Galley Grill on Summerland Key for lunch. It's an old diner with that local, laid-back Keys atmosphere that Jared and I love. A no frills, no fuss kind of a place. And the food was yummy!

After lunch, we headed home. Emerson wasn't feeling too well so lot's of snuggling was in order.

 

After a few hours of comforting and cuddling it was off to Home Depot. While Jared got the wood he needed, Emerson and I wandered around the the paint department and the garden center. I loved watching Emerson taking it all in. She was so attentive and alert.

When we got home, Jared made dinner and although our sweet girl had some more tummy troubles, she was able to fall into a peaceful sleep. Now here we are, just the two of us. Enjoying some quiet time on the couch. Goodnight Friday. You were good to us.

Happy Friday

We're beginning our weekend a little early. Jared is on leave so we enjoyed a slow start to our morning, and some much needed family time. 

Now we're heading out the door to run some errands, which include a trip to the lumber yard (yes, there is actually a lumber yard in the Keys) and a stop in at the grocery store for some goodies for a picnic we have planned for tomorrow :)

It's going to be a good day.

When Jared and I first moved in together, we quickly learned that we did not know how to argue well with each other. Sure, we knew how to point out each other's downfalls and shortcomings and I was certainly well versed in language like "I hate it when you..." and "you never...", but it was a good six months of living together before we were able to 1- understand each other well enough not to argue over every. little. thing. and 2- argue in a fair and productive way. Merging our lives into one small living space, no matter how much we loved each other required a whole lot of compromise, and cooperation. It was work and it wasn't always easy, but it forced us to step outside of our comfort zones and to find balance between our individual needs and our combined needs as a couple. It certainly made us stronger. 


In the almost five years that we've been husband and wife, never once have I questioned the strength of our relationship. Not once have I doubted the depth of our love. Because we put in the work. We got our hands dirty, and brick by brick built our marriage to withstand any storm. No amount of wind or rain could possibly threaten its foundation. Still, I hate when we argue.

For nearly 5 years its been just us. Devoting our time and energy to our marriage . Delighting in the knowledge that we belong to each other. Connected in every way possible. Changing and growing in love. Then came Emerson, our sweet baby girl. No longer are we just husband and wife, but mama and daddy too. She has our time and energy. We delight in knowing that she is ours. That we are a family. And each day she takes us places where our love changes and grows in ways we never imagined. And with this change comes less time and less energy to spend on ourselves as individuals or on our relationship. Again, we are having to compromise. Again we are having to work. 


And it's hard. 


Sometimes it feels like an eternity since we've been truly connected. Since we've looked in each other's eyes and really listened to what the other is saying. Since I've run my hand across his back like I do. Since he's wrapped me in his arms and I've nestled my head on his chest. Sometimes it feels like forever since we've truly treasured the good thing we have. This is when I feel the most lost. 


Sleepless nights, demanding days, tears, worry, frustration. There have been days when I barely recognize myself. Rather, I see the girl I once was- self-doubting, anxious and altogether unsure. Days when depression makes me its home. And sometimes it boils over. And we find ourselves taking our frustrations out on each other. But still, we give all of ourselves to this precious girl whose been given to us. We love her wholly. And we are thankful. 


I want this space-this blog to be a place to promote the positive. I want it to be a place of beauty. A place to celebrate a lovely life. And it is that. But sometimes, some days, right now, I'm finding it hard to identify where I am. Life has changed. It's not easy. I didn't think it would be. So on these days, there may not be pretty pictures and cheerful prose. But that's life and that's okay.


I took my mom to the air port today and as I drove away the loneliness was palpable. I don't know why. Being a military wife, I'm used to being by myself for significant stretches of time. So I stopped by our friends' place to chat. As soon as I walked into their apartment, Emerson started crying. Screaming. Try as I might to maintain composer, I became unhinged. I blathered a few incoherent sentences, most of which were negative in nature and left feeling tense and anxious. A fish out of water. 


It's in moments like these that I know our work here is not done. Life has changed and it's time to get our hands dirty again. Still, I'm not worried. As out of place as I've been feeling, I know we'll find our rhythm again. We will make it work. We will laugh and live and love our way through this life we are making with each other. Hand in hand we will move forward, knowing that we were made for each other and that the love we share will always, always be. 

SoMe PiCTuReS from the LaSt WeEk and A HaLf

With Jared's mom being in town last week, Jared and I were able to spend some time doing some of the things we love to do in Key West together. We laugh, because normally if we want to do any of these things, we have to do them in shifts. " I'll go for a run, you watch Emerson. You go out on the boat, I'll watch Emerson." That sort of thing. This past week though, we actually enjoyed doing things together!


Like paddlebording...

Swimming in the pool...

Softball games...

We even went out on a date...

It felt good being together like that. Kind of the way life was before our little bird came along, only better because life with her is so gratifying, so sweet.

 And watching Emerson and her Mimi spend time together warmed my heart. 

It was a wonderful week and a half. I cherished every moment spent with Jared, his mom and my sweet girl. Soon, my mom will be here and more memories will be made. As Jared's mom says, it truly is a wonderful life.

Happy 4th!

This post is a little late, but I could not be peeled away from my little family until now...

We had a very cloudy 4th. Lot's of lightening and thunder. We had planned on spending the day outside. Grilling out, paddleboarding, swimming in the pool, but mother nature had other plans! I had also planned on laying the quilt my Grammy and Pappy made for me as a high school graduation present on the grass for a family photo shoot, but instead, we rushed outside before the lightening got too close and snapped a few quick pictures. 

These pictures make me laugh. Jared clearly looks frustrated, as he was the guy running back and forth from the tripod and Emerson is clearly not having it.

Eventually though, we got a few good ones.

The day may not have gone as planned, but I'm learning that with a little one, they rarely do. Still, we had a great time and managed to eat just as much watermelon and chow down on burgers and hot dogs just the same! And much later that night, after the skies had cleared, we watched the fireworks from our bedroom window as Emerson slept. It was a perfect 4th!

You Won't Remember...

A BunCh of PicTuReS from MaY and JUnE...

Lately, I've been feeling the need to throw myself into something creative. Really dive right in. I don't know what I will do. Maybe I'll plunge into my love of photography. Learn more about it. Become better at it. Maybe I'll pour more of myself into my blog. Be more deliberate about the words I write. More passionate. Maybe I'll start some DIY projects around the home. Or crafts. Cooking is always an option too. Find new yummy ways to bring healthy, organic foods into our home. I don't know. Maybe I'll do all of these things! I just know that the need to use the more creative side of my brain is strong and what ever I choose to do, I'm going in head first.