Dear Baby

Dear Baby,
There are moments when I worry. Okay, lately, there are a lot of moments when I worry. I'm so afraid that I won't be prepared enough to take care of you when you get here. That I won't be able to provide you with everything you need when you come into this world. As each day passes and your arrival gets closer and closer, I feel gripped with fear that I'm going to let you down. That I'm going to get it all wrong. I find myself completely weighed down with all kinds of questions. Will motherhood come naturally to me? How do you change a newborn baby's diaper? How will I function on such little sleep? What will our lives be like? Will I be a good mom? Am I ready for this? The questions go on and on. 


The truth is, baby bird, that I don't think anyone can ever be ready for their lives to change so drastically in one small moment. Your are coming in 4 short weeks, whether I feel ready or not. And somehow, some way, I will fall into motherhood and I will learn that like it or not, there will be highs and lows. Ups and downs.  And like the way the moon pulls to tides, together we will find our rhythm and it will be distinctly ours.   


This weekend, we slept in, well your daddy slept in. I'm not sleeping as well these days. I washed and folded all of your clothes from the Miami baby shower and one that the ladies at work had for you. Your daddy took a few pictures of me at the end of 35 weeks and I took pictures around the yard. We also worked in the nursery. Your daddy hung some frames with pictures that I took when we lived in Virginia and he hung the mobile that your Mima and I made during spring break. Everything really is coming together. 

There are times that I worry, little bean. But then I look around and I see this little life that your dad and I have made for ourselves. Our house is clean (well mostly), our bills are paid and we have food in the fridge.  I think of our families. My parents and your daddy's and all the love they gave to us. We're going to love you like that, little one. There will never be a shortage of love in your life.Your dad and I love each other like crazy and when you get here that love will only grow. When I think of these things, I just know that we are going to be okay. I won't get everything right the first time. I'm sure I'll make plenty of mistakes but you will know you are loved right away. 


As scared, nervous and excited as I am for your arrival, I'm ready baby girl. I'm ready to show you that in life, love is the most precious gift and its a gift you will be receiving every second of every day.


Love,
Momma