You are Magic

My Dearest Emerson,

I used to write letters to you each month in your first year of life. In them, I would write about your sleeping habits and what foods you were eating. I would tell you all about your likes and dislikes, the new things you were doing and how we spent our days together. Each day I would write. Jotting down quick bits and at the end of the month, I'd put it all together into one letter to you. Everything was so new, so fresh and I didn't want any of it to fade from memory. We moved shortly after your first birthday and in the busyness of life at that time, I stopped writing. And although time has slowed down a little and we've settled into the comfort of routine, I haven't taken the time to write those letters again.

But here I sit, in a crowded coffee shop. Morning noise and the rich smell of espresso fill the air, and all I can think of is you. Today is "my day". Once a week, your babysitter comes over for a few hours while I go out and about. It's my time to kind of do whatever it is I want or need to do. And today? Today all I want is to sit and think about you. To truly ponder your uniqueness, and to fully contemplate the impact of your presence in my life. To let my mind rest on you. Wonderful, amazing, beautiful you. For weeks,  I have caught myself smiling at something you did earlier in the day. So many times, I have nearly cried tears of joy as I watch you interact with the world around you. I have felt my heart swell as I behold the little person you have become. Today I will try, even if my words fall short, which they will surely will, to tell you just how much you mean to me and just how much I love you.

How much I love you.

How can I ever really tell you how much I love you? How much my heart aches and grows and overflows with that love. And with the knowledge that we were made for each other... your daddy, me and you. We were made to love you baby girl and oh, how we love you. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with how much my heart hurts loving you. But only in a good way, baby bird. It is the most beautiful gift- loving you with all that I am. One that I am eternally grateful for. I may never be able to tell you, but I will surely spend the rest of my life showing you.

You are so loved.

Emerson, you are pure joy right now. Walking, talking (well almost) love and light and hope. Everything that is good and pure and perfect in the world, wrapped up in one tiny person. You, my sweet girl, never cease to amaze me with your ways.

You are magic.

Your ways...

Your laugh.  It's loud. It's boisterous. It's contagious...

Your determination and spirit. Motivational...

Your compassion and the way you offer love so easily. Inspiring...

You are silly and fun...

You are kind and caring...

Every thing I wanted, everything I imagined my daydream baby, my one day little girl to be, well you are so much more than that. So much more than anything I could have ever wished for. My blue skies. My sunny day.

Emerson Faith, you are my all. My love. My heart.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving me the gift of motherhood. I love you. A thousand times I love you.

Love Always,
Mama