So, I've sat down at my computer to write too many times to count. I type a sentence, delete it then find myself doing something else completely. Like searching for sensory activities for Emerson on Pinterest, or wiping dried splats of coffee off the kitchen floor. I've added cute little bows for fine baby hair to my Kohl's cart on line, planned and re-planned (and re-planned) Emerson's 1st birthday party, and I've blog hopped my favorite mama blogs enough to qualify myself as a stalker. Half of the clean dishes have been unloaded from the dishwasher and our bed is made, minus the pillows that are still on the floor.  Adult ADD has surely kicked in and I can't seem to get out of my head long enough to formulate one coherent thought.

To be fair, finding time to write isn't always easy these days. Emerson loves to love on her mama during playtime, patio time, any time and when Jared gets home form work I just want to hang with him and our girl.  We've also been soaking up as much of this place as we can and we've been enjoying every second of it. Squeezing the juicy goodness out of each day here is top on our list of things to do. Plus, I've never been one to write it all down at once. I need time. I had a college professor in grad school who once told me that she noticed when I write, I do so in vignettes. Brief scenes. Little by little. Until I'm happy with what I've got.   She was right on.

I still don't know what I want to say. Like I said. I'm kind of lost up in my head these days and I'm just not ready to be found I guess. I've been doing a lot of thinking. About overcoming imperfections. About being enough.(Sometimes I think I'm too much. Um,did I just hear my brother shout out an "Amen" from the 2nd pew?) About my wishes for Emerson. My hopes for her childhood and beyond. Our impending move. Leaving a friend and her sweet baby, that have become so dear to me. Leaving my state again, and the coast that I love. And although, in times like these, my inclination is to spiral into some melancholic state, tonight I just don't feel like going there.

Because these last few weeks have been good...

Watching on as a sweet, fuzzy-haired baby feeds her Dada...

Easter with the Luman's...

Paper birds and sunlight...

The end of lobster season. This is Jared's count. 43. Not too shabby.

Our last ride to American Shoal for snorkeling.  There is something about the sea. Both powerful and fragile. Supremely beautiful in it's vastness.

A little girl so precious.

Making friends...

Emerson and Alise. In my mind, they'll be besties forever.

Watching as the clouds fill the sky. Closing my eyes to listen to the sound of the wind as it begins to move through the trees. And then the rains come. I'll miss these Florida days.

On the 7th, I drove to Miami to see my brother. He had a concert and I desperately wanted to see him play before leaving Florida. I left Jared and Emerson behind and made the 2 1/2 hour drive north.

Within minutes of walking into to Davie's apartment, we walked right back out and drove to El Rinconcito, a little Cuban restaurant down the road. He knows me so well. Oh, Cuban food... my mouth waters at the thought of tostada and a cafe con leche...

South Miami-Dade Cultural Arts Center

Built long after I left, this venue is beautiful. Right next door is the police department where my dad used to work and the government center where he and my mom met.

Watching my adorable, mohawked brother, practicing before the concert, I was transported to our middle school auditorium so many years ago.  A silly blond haired boy with a goofy smile looking up at his music teacher waiting for the hand gesture to begin playing. 

But then the lights dimmed and he began playing and I saw a transformation. 

A man, completely in his element. This is what my brother was born to do.

While I was away, Jared sent me these two pictures of our girl. and I thought, "Look at her. I can't believe how she's grown."

My drive home. The sun setting as I drove across the 7 Mile Bridge.  I watched as the sky changed from bright blue to shades of coral until the sun finally kissed the horizon.

And as I was looking through pictures from the last few weeks,  I found this one. 

And it slayed me...

Last night, I sat out on our patio with a glass of wine and my notebook. I needed to escape the glow of tv and computer screens. I wrote down my hopes for Emerson and I couldn't help but be filled with hope myself. Despite it's challenges, life is good and I'm so excited to show her that.