Our Hearts

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about our hearts. How we move in and out of life's moments a thousand times every day, hoping our hearts can keep up. How some moments weigh our hearts down and leave them battered and bruised. While others give our hearts buoyancy and fill them with joy.

My dear friend Tammy came into my life in 2006. Jared and I had just moved to Virginia and I was teaching 6th grade. At the time, Tammy was a support teacher for mathematics in my classroom. I didn't know it then, but this woman, this near stranger, would forever change my heart. From 2006 to 2009, Tammy and I evolved from coworkers to friends. Our conversations went from being strictly about math and our students to the kinds that shed a little bit of light into each other's lives beyond working hours.

Then, in September of 2009, her daughter Ashley was diagnosed with leukemia. I watched as a woman I barely knew outside of work had her heart broken by one very scary word. My heart broke too. For her and for her sweet daughter.

As time went on, Tammy and I became very close. We shared our stories and I learned more of Ashley's. We supported each other through challenging times. We celebrated together. We cried together. We developed the kind of friendship that will last forever. She became the kind of friend that makes your life better simply by knowing that you have someone like that in it. From Tammy, I have learned so much about life and faith and hope and my heart is fuller for it.

I've been thinking a lot about our hearts lately. Her heart. Her daughter's heart. I can say with some level of confidence that their hearts are scarred. They are bruised and tender. But I also know this-- they move forward. With fear of the unknown but with faith. Always with faith in their God and His will for her life. From Tammy and from Ashley, I have learned that our hearts must move forward. Through life's hardships and it's triumphs. Life was meant to be lived. Every day is truly a gift.

This is the beginning of Ashley's story on her caring bridge page.

"On September 11, 2009, Ashley was diagnosed with Leukemia.  We are in good spirits that she will fight this and this is all God's will for her life.  God has chosen this path for her and Ashley is the strongest in this journey.  She feels Him beside her and trusts He is using her for His glory. 

Updated December 10, 2010...From Ashley...I have relapsed, but God is good and He will carry me through this ordeal yet again.

***Update..April 10, 2012...Ashley has relapsed from her transplant.  We pray God continues to give her strength and takes this from her for good. ***"

My friend Tammy has a beautiful, strong, powerful heart.

On May 16th, my sweet daughter--for whom my heart will always hurt with how much I love her-- turns 1. In honor of Ashley who still fights leukemia today, Jared and I are asking that our friends and family consider donating to Ryan's Battle Buddies. Ryan is a little boy who touched Ashley's life before losing his battle with leukemia. I don't know everything about the proverbial human heart. Mine is still a work in progress, but I do know a little about its capacity to love. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that I want our daughter to grow up knowing the value of kindness and giving. I know that her heart will be strong.