Emerson is One Month Old

Emerson is one month old. I can't believe I just wrote that... Emerson is one month old. 

On the morning that I went into labor, a calmness fell over me, like a veil, and I felt peace in my soul knowing that, our daydream baby, the musings of my heart for the past nine months would soon be here . My heart's delight, the product of of a love so big, our love, would soon be in my arms. 

When Emerson was born and they placed her on my chest, something inside of me was born as well. A love so powerful and so strong, flooding into every part of me. And with that love, the conviction that God made this little girl just for me and Jared. 

Emerson is one month old and oh, how life has changed. Since that day in May and especially in those first few days at home with her, I have questioned, second guessed and over-analyzed each decision I made as Emerson's mother. But I soon realized that all of my worrying was useless and trusting my instincts would lead me to such a peaceful feeling and the certainty that I was indeed born to do this. 

With each passing day as Emerson's mother, I find balance. With each new day, we find our rhythm as a family of three. Jared, Emerson and I. And each day, I learn more and more. Big things. Important things about what it means to be living this new life-- patience, forgiveness, acceptance, and trust. And within the space of each new day, the Lord shows his grace and I find a great deal of hope. Promises that I was made for this. That this sweet little girl was made just for us ....In Emerson's sleepy grin, her tiny hand wrapped around my finger, I find reminders that being a mama is the most gratifying, worthwhile journey of all. And my heart soars like an eagle at the thought of where this journey will take us. 

Emerson, my little bird. You are a gift from above. Born of a love that is so big, and will only continue to grow. In one month, you have completely changed my life. Your smile is pure joy. You are my greatest accomplishment. I love you to the moon and stars and back. You are our love story.