Growing in Gratitude

While I was pregnant with Emerson, I was very deliberate about my happiness. I thanked the good Lord daily for my good fortune, avoided negativity and immersed myself in things that made me feel good. I was bringing love and all things uplifting to me and my growing baby all day long. I was joyful. It was so freeing. But I have found that as I try to navigate these new, unchartered waters of motherhood, depression and anxiety (two old friends, but not really friends at all) have inched their way back into my life. Not every day, all day but they make their presence known from time to time . 

Being a mom is such a humbling experience. Suddenly it's not just about me and my heart, my happiness anymore. Of course it hasn't been just about me since Jared and I got married. On the day I married Jared, we became one. I happily became us. But, becoming a mother, well that's a whole new level of  selflessness. Suddenly you're accutley aware of the decisions you make and how everything you do will affect your little one. You want nothing more in life than for her to be safe, healthy and truly happy. And that happiness comes first from me.

So, I have down days. I do. Days when I am sad. But I can't live there. I can't let those days eclipse the beauty in my life. I think we all have a choice to either allow negativity to seep in or to see all the good in this crazy thing called life. And I choose to see it. To embrace it. Will I still have down days? Of course. And on those days, I will seek out the good. I will choose happiness. I am going to live this life.

Today, I'm starting something new here in this space. I'm calling it Growing in Gratitude. Here, I will write down what I am thankful for. There is just so much joy to be found in our daily lives. And hopefully, on the days that I find it hard to be positive, I can look back and be reminded of how lovely life truly is.  

Today, I'm thankful for the tiny rough spots on my little girl's elbows and knees that are developing as she lifts and pulls and pushes her way around her play mat. My future crawler!

Today I'm thankful for time spent chatting with my friend Abby this morning, as we sat with our two little ones on the floor and sipped on yummy chocolate banana shakes. 

Today, I'm thankful for nap time. Emerson is finally on a schedule!

Today I'm thankful...