Kindness

As Jared and I were running errands a few days ago, we had to take a minute to give Emerson her bottle. We parked outside the store and as I sat in the backseat with E, a beat up old minivan parked next to us. I looked over and could see through the dirty passenger side window a young kid and beyond him, the silhouette of his mom on the driver's side. There was a skeleton bobble-head on the dash. I could see that the mom had a nose ring, not the cute, little piercing, dotting the nostril, but a ring that goes through the center of the nose...kind of like the bull in cartoons has. As the passenger side door opened, I realized that the boy was a student from the school I worked at last year. He was in third grade then, but was not in my class. I knew from my colleague that he was on the naughty side. They walked towards the store's entrance. She had a messy appearance. Faded black tank top, torn jeans and she carried a skeleton handbag. "Well that explains a lot," I found myself thinking. Then I turned my attention back to Emerson. I looked into the big, brown, innocent eyes of my daughter and immediately I realized the mistake I had made. Who am I to pass that kind of judgement? Who am I to think myself better than this mother? What example am I setting for my daughter?

Too often we evaluate a person's worth based on how they look. We judge. We critique. And what manifests is the idea that our own worth is found in how we look. I realize the weight of this propensity more than ever now that I am a mother. Right now, Emerson is much too young to understand judgement. To know meanness. I want Emerson to grow up confident. Secure in who she is and what she stands for. And when she is old enough to feel the sting of others' unkindness, to always, always believe in herself. I want her to know, to understand that every person is deserving of kindness and love.

Sometimes I like to look back on this space to see where I was a year ago. How fitting it was to read this post. After reading, I reflected on how important it is to be mindful of others' feelings. How can I instill in Emerson those beliefs if I am not practicing them myself? As a new mom, I've made plenty of mistakes, missteps, misjudgments. I've also made decisions about parenting that I feel 100% confident are the right ones for my daughter. And through it all, I've hoped that others wouldn't judge me, and in the face of my missteps, would even offer compassion. It's time I do the same. Jared and I will teach our sweet baby girl kindness, we'll shower her with love of course. But today I pray that the Lord soften my heart to others, for quiet reminders to always be kind and for the strength to be an example of kindness and confidence for my daughter. Strongly rooted in love, happy in who she is, thoughtful and caring.