Goodbye, A Word, and Hello.

I've been sitting at my computer for quite a while, watching the cursor blink on and off and traveling the corners of my mind in search of just what to write for the end of one year and the beginning of another. I keep coming up short.

How do I sum up a year that proved to be the biggest one of my life? It wasn't big because we took any amazing trips or went on any grand adventures. Instead, we began the year preparing for our biggest adventure yet. Our little bird. Our sweet baby girl. Cherishing the moments we shared as parents to be and growing in love for each other every day. In May, she arrived, and with her birth, something was born inside of me too. A love so big that sometimes I think my heart will surely burst. 

Since the day she was born, I have focused on being present in every part of Emerson's life. Every first. The big ones and the little ones. And although there have been hard times, I wouldn't change a thing. We have poured ourselves into loving our little girl, building a foundation for her that is as solid as rock and our love has grown and strengthend in ways I didn't know were possible. 

This year has flown by. The days were often long and busy. But when I look back at each moment, each day, each month, they all seem to have blurred into one another  That's when I realize just how slippery and fleeting this time of her life is and how lucky I am to be here now.

How do I sum up the biggest year of my life? I'm not sure I can...

In 2012, I started picking a word. My word last year was accept. I focused my energy on accepting who I was, who I am, and who I will become. I love the idea of having a word for the year. It gives purpose to my days and meaning to my actions. I had a difficult time choosing my word for 2013. Nowadays, every decision I make seems so weighty. Her existence in my life causes me to be more deliberate, which can be a heavy feeling. Not in a bad way. It just makes me think things through more. I wanted my word for this year to be not only for me, but something that would spill over into Emerson's world too. A word that would help her to grow roots into the foundation that we've built. I've decided that my word for this year is faith. Faith-- My daughter's middle name. I will step into 2013 in faith. Faith in my God. In the universe. Faith in myself. And faith in man kind. 

On New Year's day, Jared took Emerson out and about to run errands. It was the longest amount of time that I'd been away from her since she was born. A few hours later, when he came home, he said to me, "This was one of the best days of my life. Really, it's up there..." 

Yeah. That. 

That's what 2013 will be about. The small, every day moments that make life lovely and if you pay attention enough, take your breath away. 

Hello 2013. Hello faith.